Lovin' You.

An excerpt from a song I wrote about a girl I loved dearly.

Lovin' you is easy

Lovin' you is sad

Lovin' you with hatred

I guess that's kinda bad

I'm feeling like

I'm feeling like

I'm feeling like

A Spiral

Pain enough to set me off the edge

It's a cycle...

Into insanity

I guess it will always be

Something not meant to be

Two paths, one destiny

If it can't be you

Why do I still dream of that truth

That I only see in my sleep

Deep in thought

Sometimes I wake up and weep

How did this happen?

Why are you so far?

Why can't we go back to when

We kissed under the stars

When we gazed at the moon

Meditated together

Knew I'd fall for her soon

She makes me laugh

She makes me cry

I'm at peace with her by my side

And that's why...

--

This was a rap song I wrote about a girl I used to date. I don't want to go into specific details, but she had a great impact on my life. We're obviously not together anymore, for better or for worse. It's interesting. I do genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason. So with this mindset, she clearly wasn't the right person for me.

Nevertheless, I was happy with her, and the problems we had could've been resolved. There's still love for one another and we're on great terms, so it's all good! It's just something I think about from time to time. I don't like the idea of "I fucked up" or "the one that got away." No, that person wasn't right for you and vice versa. Doesn't mean you don't love them and wish them the best.

Sometimes love isn't always enough either. Sometimes situations that are outside of our control take over, hence why I believe in the universe and whatever life has in store for me. I'm ready to embrace it. Whatever it's supposed to be. Still, I'm human. I have feelings, and I am a passionate person. I wear my heart on my sleeves. So, as I always do, when I'm feeling a certain way, I need to express it through my rhymes and/or poetry.

I'm also writing this in a much better headspace than I was when I wrote it, so there's a sense of clarity here. This is a reflection of all the feelings I had at one point in time. I was obviously in pain from the breakup. Looking back, I didn't think I'd be able to recover. So, for anyone who is reading this, and is maybe going through a hard time.

Just know it gets better. He/she wasn't the right person for you. And that's okay. That is life.

-JTC